what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
