how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
