he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize