i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize