2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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