Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
