I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Randomize
