Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
