i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
