Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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