i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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