He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
being pregnant is like rehab
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
