Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize