i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
