Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Define "chronic" masturbator.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I need water and some morals
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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