The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
