did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
