You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
