we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
