If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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