Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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