I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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