So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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