I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
