Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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