Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
