I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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