Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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