mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just had sex on a roof
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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