No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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