Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
