Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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