no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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