I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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