Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
