I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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