He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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