Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
How does one acquire holy water?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
