It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize