Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
