i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
