I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize