So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
