Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize