idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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