this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
