I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
