I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
