Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Randomize
