my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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