I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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