what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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