Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
