cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
