I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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