EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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