whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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