i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
