just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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