D3 body, D1 cock
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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