I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
