all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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