...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
