I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
