If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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