every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
