sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
