i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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