I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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