that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
