lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
