Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize